Why I’ve Been MIA…

Warning: I am currently trying to write this through a tsunami of brain fog, so please be patient as this post might not be the most legible.

It’s been a hell of a few months.

Finishing finals, starting and finishing a 10-week course smashed into 3-weeks, applying for jobs and grad schools, getting interviews and disappointing application results, relationship struggles (platonic and romantic), depression and anxiety skyrocketing, ME symptoms progressively getting worse and occurring more often, and finally, the holidays.

Fuck the holidays.

I was talking to my therapist last week about how to get through Christmas Eve and day without totally wanting to crawl into a black hole and lock myself in there until all the chaos was over with. She gave me some good advice on ways to alter my hateful cognitions towards the holiday season, such as thinking of the littlest of things that I actually don’t mind about this time of year. I love the snow, and spending time with my grandma. Thinking about that helped me get through, but seriously, I’m just so happy it’s all over. [Hopefully] things start to settle down after tomorrow night.

I just realized I’m rambling, so let me digress…

I’ve been very busy, and ill, and I won’t lie to you, I haven’t wanted to write about ME as my symptoms have become more aggressive over this time.

I don’t know if I even want to write about it now, but the point of this site isn’t just for me, and I need to remind myself of that.

While I have been struggling with a bunch of different shit and been feeling so alone and misunderstood, I completely cut-out this unbelievable support system RIGHT HERE, and I apologize deeply for my absence.

So, in return, you all get to read about my sudden spike in GERD issues. YAY!

GERD. Or so I call it, the devil if there is one.

It’s gotten SO much worse in the past few months. At first I was thinking it could just be other factors such as holiday food or the stress from school or a combination of a plentiful of things, however, it has not subsided with these triggers out of the way. In fact, it’s only gotten worse. I blame my ME.

Does anyone else have terrible GERD or acid/digestive issues associated with their ME? I’m seriously struggling to be kind and patient with myself on this one as I have yet to encounter someone with ME that has bad GERD, as well.

Any thoughts? Any suggestions?

Anyways, I’ve missed you all, and I can’t wait to hear back from you wonderful warriors.

Sleep tight,

A. xx